We are Very Smart Girls at a Very Important Event.

By Claudia Gottridge.

“Chris tells me if I want to be a good writer I should read memoirs, but never write one.

Artwork by Jason Boyd Kinsella.


Sophie has a poor, unaltered mind.


And Dr. A has quite the spread.


Oysters and runny cheeses. Crackers with little gray bits in them. Purple grapes, pistachios, pistachio shells. Leafy strawberries. Lamb and mint jelly. Skipper with cilantro. Mushroom puffs. Salmon puffs. Young calf cooked slow, breaded. Gimlets, wide mouths, hearts bleeding for an elixir equal parts recompense and sleaze.


“Not for all the starlings in Rome, my dear,” says Dr. A. to his wife. 


Dr. A’s wife smiles and will not compromise her lovely figure with these trimmings.


She doesn’t like to look at the girls.


Dr. P emancipates his genius with a toast then spills some bubbly on darling Lennie.


He likes to look at her.


And my poor, sober Sophie.


Chris tells me if I want to be a good writer I should read memoirs, but never write one.


Paul has ended a sentence in a proposition.


I go to the bathroom and throw up. 

The Blood Pudding – February 19, 2024

Claudia Gottridge is currently a second-year student in the BA English and Art History program at Boston University. She hails from New York, NY, and when she is not reading, writing, or working for school, she can be found reading, writing, or working regardless. She can be found on Twitter at @claudia_nicoleg.

Artwork: Nikki Maloof is an American artist known for her still life paintings that depict animals in brightly coloured and highly patterned settings. Her drawings and oil paintings portray anthropomorphised creatures that oscillate between being humorous and unnerving. You can find more about her here.