i tell my cats to finish their dinners

but they dont 

 

i tell them to kill the mouse & they kindly

but very firmly indicate theyd rather not, thanks

 

i command them into my lap

& instead they go eat

 

until i tell them this makes me happy 

which upon hearing they stare deeply into my eyes 

& vomit onto my new rug

 

good grief i tell my cats

but their attention has been completely captured by my digital camera 

which they just knocked off my desk

 

thankfully my cats were still available for emotional support 

while working on grad school applications

 

i put down more food

 

they ruin more rugs

 

when i tell them to eat again 

my cats reveal that theyve both gotten into film school

 

one of them also gets into porn

on the production side of things

but later a lack of communication and poor boundaries leads me to find out he also got into 

            the consumption side 

 

the other one gets into hipster-chic brooklyn cafes

& mumblecore films

 

he makes low budget one take set pieces under my bed

where i think hes also gotten into cocaine

 

my cats invite greta gerwig over for dinner after she teaches one of their film classes

 

they tell me theyll need the living room for the night

& hide their woody allen memorabilia in my closet without asking

 

i get ready for bed & hear them pitching a story to greta while i brush my teeth

its a mothman biopic

 

after i flush the toilet greta leaves 

& i stare at my cats

 

they stare back & say

thanks a lot asshole