the women in my family speak french and like to eat thin-sliced tangerine jello

tangerine jello at the church picnic

sugar-free tangerine jello at the church picnic

my dad and i speak german and eat orange jello at the church picnic

my dad stands somewhere and i stand somewhere in between them and the women

i stand close enough to hear “looking is free”

and i know that i’ll never be

expensive

when i was finally sugar-free enough to stand with the women,

my mother showed me a roll of 35mm film, cast orange with time

“you come from a line of good men,

you come from a line of good flawed men.”

thin-sliced orange jello

boiling into calluses under the sun

hardening into stained glass

a hot autumn’s monarch sunset