i was born to die  

(but for now i am that day we spent on the beach 

breeze-tangled hair glued wet to our backs 

sunshine warming shoulders but cold water freezing toes  

sat halfway between sand and sea comfort and danger 

and you told jokes wrong until i laughed so hard i couldn’t breathe 

but it was a good kind of suffocation because i did it with a smile) 

and someday when my hair is white 

(a tangled puff of cloud reminiscent of the skittish sky we swam under) 

my sides will cease to ache with laughter  

and i will suffocate under the weight of age  

(and not summer joy) 

(but for now 

i am the breeze and i am the hair tangled wet glued to sunburned backs 

i am the sunshine cold water toes jokes told wrong 

i am suffocating with a smile) 

and someday it will be over  

(but for now i’ll be the splenetic clouds scudding across a cerulean sky 

i’ll be the soaking sand you sat in, seeping water into your suit 

for now i will be the beach and the birds and the day and you) 

and i know the sun will set and this day will end like any other 

(but for now  

i was born to be 

i was born  

just for this)